Albus Severus Potter's Diary
by Rani Jashalithie
Summary: "We should establish the fact that this is NOT a diary. My little sister keeps a diary. This is a journal. A very manly journal."
1. My VERY Big Secret

July 12. 2021

Err...hi. I'm Al. That's Albus Severus Potter to you, whoever you are. Merlin, this is strange, I'm talking to myself. Or rather, to a book.

How pathetic.

Okay. I think I should explain why I'm in this pathetic situation to begin with.

See, I have a rather large secret. My life depends on it. And there's no one I can trust with it.

So I've resorted to this. Well, what can I do? Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Oh, and before I forget, we should establish something. THIS. IS. NOT. A. DIARY. My _little sister_ keeps a diary. This is a _journal_. A _very manly_ journal.

So, it's time for me to tell you my colossal secret.

Wait

For

It...

Okay here it is:

I

fancy

the

pants

off

Alice

Augusta

Longbottom.

Told you it was a life and death matter.


	2. Why Am I A Gryffindor, Again?

July 22nd, 2021

See, the thing is, I've fancied her forever. And I fail to see why I'm a Gryffindor, I really do. I mean really, I can't even ask her out!

Plus she's my best friend, so if she doesn't feel the same way, our friendship goes kaput!

I mean, really, we've had Hogsmeade weekends for two years now, and I still haven't plucked up the nerve to ask her out.

What a muppet.

The only remotely-Gryffindorish act I've pulled was back in first year, and it was more stupid than brave, if you ask me.

See, we were flying, Alice and I, or rather, I was teaching her how to fly. Or trying to, anyway. And she was doing a bloody good job of it, and all. And she was so surprised that she could stay up for more than two minutes, that she let go of the handle and lost her balance.

I felt my heart kind of freeze. And then I went after her.

We were flying and I caught her, but then the ground sorta slammed into us.

And we both ended up cracking our skulls.

The only time I've ever slipped out with the fact that I liked her, is last year, on the train ride back home.

Rose had gone back to have a nice snogging session with Scorpius Malfoy, and Alice and I were playing the one word game.

See, one person says one word and the other says the first thing that pops into their mind.

So she said blue, and instead of saying the sky, or the ocean, or something normal, I said "attractive"

She was wearing a blue jumper that day, and I don't think she met my eyes for the rest of the trip.

Okay, Mum's calling me. Bye.


	3. Dropping Eaves

**A/N: Okay, my lovely readers out there, here is the third journal entry. I know it's boring as of now, but next chapter, things start to heat up a bit.**

**I do not own the Potterverse.**

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><p>July 24th, 2021<p>

Okay, I just heard something.

I'm not sure I was supposed to, however.

Now, you may ask, were you eavsdropping, Al?

And I would say, no, I am not dropping any eaves.

So yes, Uncle Ron found out about Rose and Scorpius.

He, um, kind of exploded. He started pounding his fist on the table, and he turned red, then he was screaming and his face went this odd purple color, and then I don't know what else happened because I left the room before things got ugly.

Every Weasley is blessed with an abnormally healthy pair of lungs, unfortunately for the rest of the world, so I could still hear him from under Hugo's bed, which is where I had taken refuge.

Then, I sort of dozed off, until I woke because my neck hurt so much from sleeping in an odd position. I got up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and I heard quiet voices coming from the other side.

Aunt Hermione was sort of crying, I guess, her voice sounded a little thick.

"...it's different, now, Ron, please!"

"Hermione, how can I forget that? I-"

"I'm not asking you to forget that, I'm just telling you to move on, and leave the past behind."

"I can't, okay? I bloody can't! She's snogging Malfoy, that's like-"

"Its not him who did this to me."

"It might as well have been!"

"Ron, shh, you'll wake them." Ha. Too late for that.

"It might as well have been, Hermione, you know that as well as I do!"

"He didn't turn us in, when Bella asked him. He didn't tell her! We could have _died!_"

"Hermione, are you defending the bloody ferret?"

"No, I'm just defying your reason. His son could be the sweetest guy in the world, and you still would find fault in him."

"Of course I would. She's Rosie, for Merlin's sake!"

"I know, but our kids are old enough to make their own decisions. Remember the Yule ball?"

"How could I forget?"

"We were fourteen. They are fourteen."

"If Rose gets married to him, I swear, I'll-"

"Walk her down the aisle, like you're supposed to."

And then I walked out, because I had enough to think about.

If you like someone when you're fourteen, you'll love them forever and get married to them?

No, that makes no sense. I'm sleep deprived.

Okay, bye.

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><p><strong>Yes, I know, it wasn't great. But you're getting another chapter shortly...so keep reading!<strong>


	4. Back To Hogwarts

September 1, 2021

Hi, so I'm back at Hogwarts. The train ride was loads of fun, I saw all my dorm-mates again. And this year, two new students transferred from Salem's Witching Institute. Sonia Goldstein (whose parents apparently knew mine. Then again, _half the Wizarding world_ knows my parents. I think they went to school together...I dunno...), and Megan Cavendish.

After they were both Sorted into Gryffindor, they came and sat next to me, Rose, Alice, and Scorpius. Rose and Sonia hit it off right away, they're both Chasers, they're both into the Weird Sisters (freaks of nature. Anyone who's smart knows the best Wizarding band is the Dragon's Tooth. No, really. Ask James. Or wait, no, don't ask James, bad idea...) and they're both addicts to school. Megan, on the other hand, tried to make conversation with Alice, but Alice is shy, so it was difficult to get some conversation going. So I jumped in, and we started chatting. She's pretty, I guess. She's got this short, orange hair, and blue eyes, just like Alice. She kept doing this weird thing with her eyes like she had something stuck in them or something, and twirling her hair around her fingers, and sticking her bottom lip out like Lily does when she asks Dad for something.

Does she have some rare disorder that prevents her from sitting still? I hope she's okay, and it's not too serious or anything.

Alice was quiet in the common room later on, and when I asked her what's wrong, she didn't say anything, she just stared at me. So I turned to leave, and she grabbed my hand, so I stopped, and then she stood up and _kissed_ me on top the head (SHE KISSED ME! SHE KISSED ME!) and said good night to me before turning around and sprinting up the girl's staircase. What the hell? You don't _kiss_ a bloke, even if it's just on top of the head and_ walk away_, for Merlin's sake!

She probably won't even remember it in the morning. It's probably just a _sisterly _gesture.

Yeah, that's it. Just a _sisterly_ gesture.

Although, you know...Lily has never kissed me on top of my head...maybe it's not so _sisterly..._

Ok, going to bed. G'night.


	5. Your Sister, Lilliane?

**A/N: Sorry for the multiple updates! I had to fix some distracting errors. **

**Happy reading, everyone!**

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><p>September 14th, 2021<p>

Bloody awful weather today. Raining and howling like there's no tomorrow. I wonder why they didn't cancel Hogsmeade today.

I had heard O.W.L year was going to be hard, but I had no idea it would be _this_ hard. It's insane! I'm likely to be in my seventh year before I finish the enormous pile of Transfiguration homework Luce assigned us. Oh yeah, she's the new Transfiguration Trainee here. Bit weird, actually, calling your cousin "Professor". Then again, Herbology is pretty weird too, since I have to call Uncle Neville "Professor Longbottom".

Anyway, I digress. I dunno what's gotten into Rose lately. She hardly leaves the library and when Scorpius tries to coax her out for dinner, or to go to bed before the crack of dawn, she hexes him. Merlin knows how he puts up with her.

Oh, and something strange happened at Hogsmeade today. I was walking with Al (I'm the only one who gets to call her that, because everyone else calls _me_ Al) and we were leaving the Three Broomsticks to go into Scrivenshafts so she could buy a new quill because James had stepped on her other one. He really _is_ a prat, I tell you. Anyways, so we're walking, and chatting, and suddenly I realize that she is shivering because she's only wearing a jumper. Like, no cloak, coat, nothing.

So I asked her, "Al, what's wrong with you? You can't step out in the rain, in Scotland, for crying out loud, wearing just a jumper! It's bloody freezing out here!"

"Yeah, I know, but Cat forgot her's, and I lent her mine until Mum sent it to her. I didn't think I'd need it today!"

So I did what anyone would do. I shrugged out of my coat and put it around her shoulders. She tried to give it back to me, but I refused to take it. So she gave me this little smile and put her hands in its pockets. She looked so pretty, with the wind blowing her hair and her cheeks all pink. And it looked so _right_, I can't explain it, but all I know is that I wanted to take Grandpa's Muggle picture-maker and freeze that moment forever and ever and just fix it in my memory for all of eternity.

She stared at me for a while, and then frowned. "Al? Are you okay? Do I something on my face or something?"

I swallowed hard, and when I spoke my voice came out sorta harsh. "No, you're fine, Al, you're just fine."

Then she smiled and I heard a high-pitched voice to my right. "Oh, _Albus_, it's so great to _see_ you!"

I turned and saw Megan. "Hi Megan." I said.

She smiled a smile that looked like it would hurt. "Hello, Albus. You're _such_ a sweet brother!"

I said something really witty, like "Huh?"

She smiled that painful smile again and said, pointing behind me, to Alice. "Isn't this your sister? Lilliane?"

"No, this is my best friend Alice Longbottom." I thought it was strange introducing someone she had already spoken to. Maybe Alice didn't introduce herself. "My sister's name is Lily."

"Oh. Well, see you around!" And she flounced away, her skirt bobbing higher than my mum would ever let Lily wear.

I turned back to Alice, and her face looked sort of stony. "Al? Earth to Al!" She jumped. "Sorry, just...thinking."

"Wanna go get your quill now?"

She smiled and nodded. "Sure."

So we did.


	6. Patronus

October 12th, 2021

Dad came to school today. He always comes, at least once a year to teach us DADA. It's really odd. I personally don't like it too much. I can tell, neither does Dad.

Anyway, today we learnt Patronuses today. I'd been trying to do this since third year, ever since James could do his. Naturally, I couldn't. Until today.

It was amazing. Dad told us to choose a happy memory and let it fill you, so you can feel it in the depths of your toes, whatever that means. So I thought of when I got my glasses and I could finally read. That didn't work too well. I tried my Hogwarts letter, and I got a spout of silver, but it didn't last long. Dad told me to try harder. So I thought of the ocean, and I pictured blue eyes. And right when I said the incantation, a brilliant phoenix appeared! I was so amazed, I just watched it fly around in lazy circles. Dad saw it then, and his eyes got this faraway look in them.

"Brilliant, Al." he said. "Dumbledore's Patronus was a phoenix, too. Bloody brilliant!" I felt so good, I could finally do something to be proud of, and have Dad notice me.

Beside me, Alice was having trouble, so I guided her wand hand and showed her how to move her hand properly. She tried to, and eventually, she managed to conjure a robin. Megan was near me, and she begged me to help her, and she was doing that thing with her eyes again, and I felt really sorry for her. So I tried, and she could do it well soon enough, her Patronus is a peacock.

Rose managed to conjure a ferret (I have no idea) and Sonia made an orca, (it was really majestic, I don't even know how she made such a solid one).

What a tiring day. I'm sleeping. Screw Rose and her homework schedules. I need sleep.


	7. Our Little Midnight Excursion

October 22nd. 2021

I have a new thought on the world.

A crying girl is the most awkward thing for a bloke to experience. No, honestly, I would rather face 20 of those Blast-Ended things Aunt Hermione made illegal than to see another girl cry again in front of me.

Rose is okay, Lily is okay, even Rox is fine. I suppose Alice is fine too, because I didn't fly off the handle last year when Ross Williams ditched her after asking her out in front of all of Gryffindor Tower she started crying and I was the only one with her. Though I suppose that was more because I was plotting out ways to hex him so badly he would never see the light of day again. And I did. I am proud to say he still hasn't left St. Mungo's. To be completely honest, even I don't know what I did to him. I did get a jillion detentions, not to mention hundreds of House points, but I honestly didn't care.

So, back to my original point. Crying girls are a mess to deal with. They really are. Dad's lucky, I have never, ever, seen Mum cry. Aunt Hermione, on the other hand, cries over EVERYTHING. Once she was drunk and she started crying because someone apparently took her copy of _Hogwarts, A History_. And Grandmum too, well, she never gets pissed, but she turns into a mess every time something remotely emotional happens. Actually, all the females except Mum, Aunt Angie, and maybe Dom cry a lot, actually.

Today, we were leaving Potions, and Megan comes to where Al and I were sharing a table and she did this wonky thing with her behind, and started walking like a demented penguin. I asked her if I could help her, and she did that godawful thing with her eyelashes again and said, "Albus, I was just _wondering_, it's just that many times I've gotten lost, and I need someone _experienced_ to show me around."

So I nodded, and said, "Sure, I'm sure Rose can show you and Sonia anytime." Then she did the Lily-begging-Dad-for-another-My Little Pixie doll-even-though-she-has-jillions face, with the sticking-out lip and all.

"No, but Albus, I wanted you to show me around. But it's okay. I understand. You don't want to."

Oh, please. "No, no, it's okay. Er...midnight? Outside the Fat Lady?" Her whole face lit up and she nodded.

So at eleven forty, because I wanted an excuse, I left my Transfiguration Essay behind, and grabbed the Map from James' trunk. Quietly, I crept past Rose, who was furiously scribbling an essay. Alice was asleep in an armchair and I kissed her hand lightly as I crawled by. She stirred, but didn't wake up. I wanted her to be asleep when I cam back so I could carry her back to her dorms, or just have an excuse to stay up with her and watch her sleep.

Okay, I'm turning into a girl.

I slipped out and Megan was waiting there, wearing this little yellow dress. She has orange hair, and a yellow dress. At night. In a dark castle. Does she _want _us to get caught?

"Hi Albus!" she squealed, and threw her arms around me. I patted her awkwardly on the head.

"Er, hi Megan. Where do you want to go first?"

"Oh, I was hoping to tour the kitchens, I've been mostly everywhere else.

"Okay. Here, let's go here." I pointed to an alcove where we crouched and waited until Filch was done patrolling the entrance to the Hufflepuff Common Room (old creep).

"That's a really wicked Map!"

"Thanks. It was my Dad's, then Teddy's, he's my brother. Ted gave it to James, but I nick it occasionally."

She giggled. "Oh, _Albus_, you're so _funny_!"

I frowned. I wasn't making a joke. Was she laughing at me?

"C'mon. Let's go." We kept walking in uncomfortable silence. Finally, when we reached the entrance, I tickled the pear, just like James had taught me back in first year.

It laughed and turned into a handle. I yanked it and all but shoved her inside.

A wrinkly house-elf named Inky squeaked "Young Master Potter! And his friend!" Another little elf gave us a tray full of scones and pastries. "This is for young Master Potter's enjoyment!"

"Awwww...they're so cute!" Megan leaned down to kiss Inky.

Inky gave an indignant squeal. "Inky does not want to be cute! Inky wants to serve Albus Potter as best as she can!" and left in huff.

Megan looked quizzically after her but before she could ask anything, I hurriedly said "Let's eat."

So we did. She told me her about her life in Salem and I actually was listening. She told me how all of the girls used to hate her and call her names.

And then, she started to _cry._

It was awful. I tried hugging her, and she just totally ruined my jumper. It was very awkward.

And afterward, she told me how grateful she was that I didn't think of her as a ditz. I didn't know exactly what she meant, so I just said, "No! of course not! How could anyone think that?"

It was probably the right thing to say, because she smiled. I said we should probably go, and she agreed.

When I got back to the Common Room, Alice wasn't there. It made me feel sad, but I really can't explain why.

I'm just sleep deprived.


	8. Girls Are Mad

October 23rd, 2021

Okay, I swear to God, girls are the most confusing breed on the planet Earth. I didn't do anything today, and Alice is giving me the silent treatment.

Which is extremely annoying, especially if they're punctuated with dirty looks and death glares (she has a really intense death glare)

So I said Hello to Megan today, because she looked a bit tired from last night, I know I was, and I for some reason, could not take my eyes off her. Just today. Maybe she did something with her hair or something.

So I was staring at her, only I didn't realize I was, and I suppose I was about to make my potion explode or something, because all of a sudden, Alice is whisper-yelling at me so Slughorn doesn't hear.

"Albus, no, not the pufferfish eyes! Why do you even have pufferfish eyes? And where is your armadillo bile? What's gotten into you? You're usually brilliant at potions-oh. I see." She caught me staring at Megan.

"I suppose you want to take her to Hogsmeade then?" she asked, peeling her mandrake roots and chucking them into her cauldron with a totally unnecessary amount of force.

"I dunno...maybe." _Way to be articulate, Al._ "She was treated really awfully back at Salem. I feel kind of bad for her. They called her all sorts of names, and have you noticed she has some sort of disease? She keeps twitching and stuff. What if it's terminal?"

Al looked at me like I had just expressed a burning desire to snap my wand in half and live amongst an underground Muggle shipbuilding society. "What. The. Hell. You _cannot_ be serious. Do you _seriously_ believe her? Isn't it obvious? She's lying! And all that jazz about a terminal disease? Al,_ honestly_? She was flirting with you! I know you're clueless, but I didn't imagine it was _this _bad!"

It annoyed me how she was emphasizing her words. Like Megan. "Fine. Doesn't mean you have to copy her."

"Albus Potter! I am not copying her! I have no desire to be like her! She's a total bimbo. I have more sense, not that I expect you to know."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"If you don't know, then I'm not telling."

"Obviously I don't know, that's why I'm asking!"

She opened her mouth, but I never got to hear what she had to say, because at that moment exactly I added the pufferfish eyes to my cauldron and it blew up.

The entire potions class was covered in my green, goopy, pathetic excuse for a potion. Thankfully, I didn't make it right, otherwise the entire class would be shrinking like there's no tomorrow.

Then, Al yelled at me. "_Now_ look what you've done!" and she stormed off, slamming the door behind her.

"Well, er, don't panic." Slughorn waddled over to my table and cleaned the mess up. "Class Dismissed."

We all stormed out. I sat with Megan today for dinner. I had to, because Al sat with Rose, who kept shooting me dirty looks.

Like I said, girls are confusing.


	9. The Whole World Is Mad

November 1st, 2021

Oh.

My.

Merlin.

So much has happened since the last time I wrote...I don't know where to start.

First, Al still isn't speaking to me. I feel so awful. She looks tired and sometimes I don't see her for days at a time. Though I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the Second.

Second, I have a girlfriend.

I'm pretty sure you know who it is.

Fine, you stupid book, I'll tell you. Megan Cavendish snogged me, in full view of the Great Hall. We lost loads of points for "public display of affection". Heh.

She insists meeting me in these random broom cupboard sessions. It's really odd. I had, at one point, imagined, I guess, having a girlfriend and all, but I never thought it would be like this.

We do nothing but snog. _All the time_. Like, I don't know what her favorite color is, or anything. When I asked her if this is how it's supposed to be, she did that whole pouty-face thing and said, "Of course, Ally _darling_!"

Ally. Ouch.

Like I said, girls are barmy.

Scratch that, the whole sodding _world_ is barmy.


	10. ALL Potters Marry Redheads!

November 4th, 2021

All right. So I'm officially confused, as if I wasn't muddled up enough before.

Today, Rich Carmichael of Ravenclaw, _Ravenclaw_, I tell you, comes up to me, thumps me on the back, and says, "Nice bird you got there, mate."

And then, we had Herbology with the Hufflepuffs and Johnny Rash, this Muggleborn kid, was working on the same bunch of Murtlap reeds as I was, and he goes, "Can you ask that Megan of yours if she has any sisters?"

And then, these fourth years were ogling her when we were walking to dinner.

The strange part? None of this really bothered me. Like I didn't get that insane feeling to hex Carmichael into oblivion the way I did Williams when he ditched Al.

Very odd.

To make matters worse, James comes up to me and says, "Well done, mate. I didn't think you had it in you." To which of course, I punched him.

"Anyway," he said thickly, while holding his heavily bleeding nose. "Merlin, Al, you can sure pack a punch!"

"I'm not a Chaser for nothing."

"Sure. Anyway, just wanted to tell you about a little Potter tradition."

"What?"

"All Potters, for generations, have married redheads. Megan Potter has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

The git ran away before I could give him a black eye to match that lovely bloody nose. What a prat.

I don't want to marry Megan! I really, really don't! If anything, I want to marry...well, bloody hell, I don't know! I'm _fifteen_ for Merlin's sake!

Would Dad hate me very much if I married Alice?

Nah, I don't think so. Even if, I'm sure we could get her to dye it or something...

I don't want to marry Megan Cavendish.

I don't want to marry Megan Cavendish.

I don't want to marry Megan Cavendish.

...Right?

Oh, I forgot. You're a book. You don't talk back. Damn.


	11. Lipgloss Is Revolting

November 7th, 2021

I hate lipgloss, I hate it, I hate it! It's so sticky! I don't get it, when there's a mouse, a harmless _mouse_, for Godric's sake, girls all start screaming and climbing all over everything. Yet they actually, willingly, rub all this sticky nonsense all over their face!

Absolutely revolting.

What's even worse is its taste. It's sickeningly sweet.

And so _sticky!_

They could probably use it to hold stuff together, it's that bad.

Megan wears loads of it. She has this little tube of it in her robes pocket and she's always smearing it on before kissing me. I got really sick of it, and yesterday, when we were snogging, I tactfully slipped my hand inside her robes pocket and put it in my own.

About ten minutes ago, I threw it in the Common Room fire when Megan wasn't looking. The only thing is, I think Alice saw me.

I hope not. She never wears all of this jazz!

And then, God, Megan's shirts. I'm not actually sure they qualify as shirts, only because they don't cover quite enough in...that area.

I really wonder how she doesn't freeze to death in the dungeons during Double Potions, wearing those microscopic clothes. Yes, I know what a microscope is. Rose bought one for my birthday, and I had no idea how to use it, then I-accidentally-on-purpose left it at her house.

Anyway, she's annoying. I'm sure Rose or Lily aren't that irritating. No, I know they aren't.

Alice sure as hell isn't.

If this is all what having a girlfriend is about, I'm not so sure I want one anymore.

...and I'm still not sure what having a redhead girlfriend means...if it means anything at all...


	12. Who Am I? Romeo!

November 9th, 2021

I swear, girls are so bloody _vicious_! They're worse than banshees, for Merlin's sake!

So today, at breakfast, Rose comes up to me with her I-will-kill-you-and-resurrect-you-and-then-kill-you-again-and-make-sure-you-stay-dead look.

"Wha?" I asked only my mouth was full of bacon, so I couldn't talk properly.

"Ew, Al, shut your mouth." she grimaced and plopped down next to me. "We have a bone to pick. What does Megan mean when she told Alice that she puts meaning in your life? Who are you, and what the hell have you done to my cousin? And why is Megan wearing a ring on her finger? With your initials carved into it? Who are you trying to be, Romeo?"

I hadn't a clue as to what she's blabbing about. "Wha?" I said again.

"Alice isn't saying anything, doesn't mean nothing is happening. You really don't realize what is going on, do you? I swear, one of these days, it'll be your turn for the one brain all men share." And with that, she went to the Slytherin table, to share a really disgusting snog with Scorpius.

Megan was saying I gave her a ring? I'm not romantic, she should know that! I'm just trying to pass my O.W.L's unscathed.

Yeah, like that's going to happen. Huh.

Whatever.


	13. Confrontation

**A/N: A very big Thank You to all my darling reviewers! As of yesterday night, this story has two pages of reviews! Thank you so much! :)**

**Happy Reading!**

**~RJ**

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><p>November 12th, 2021<p>

I swear, I find only one solution to all this wretched drama.

1.) Move to the Muggle World and snap my wand in half

2.) Curl up and sleep in my sock drawer until all the girls in the world die.

Except for Alice, of course. And all my cousins, well, maybe, not all of them, I'm rather upset at Rose at the moment.

So Megan and I were snogging today (yes, in another broom cupboard), and, well, I won't tell you how, but she poked me with her ring.

That thing is HUGE.

So I very casually held her hand and slipped it off. And I was thinking what to say, so I just spewed out the first thing that came to mind.

"Are you cheating on me?" I tried to make my voice really low, the way James does when he asks the Muggle cashier at the supermarket what time she...never mind. You don't need to know that.

Her lip trembled and she slowly shook her head.

"And why are you wearing it? Because I know for a fact I did not give that to you."

She took it back from me and showed me the inside. "What does that say, Ally?"

Oh Merlin. Not that again, _please_. "Er, it says, hang on, it says, A.S.P + M.M.C."

A.S.P

That sounds awfully familiar...

Oh. OH. Nononononononononono...

"What's your middle name?" I asked weakly

"Marie." she said quietly.

"Megan, why did you tell Rose that I gave you this ring?"

"I didn't! I swear! This is a purity ring. It means I'm saving myself for you, and only you."

I felt sick, and sat down on an empty bucket. I really wasn't sure if Megan was _pure_, if you know what I mean. It just seems to impossible, like a nice James. Those things just don't happen.

"Don't you see? Rose is sticking up for Allison-"

"Alice." I corrected automatically.

She continued, ignoring me. "-who is jealous that I'm your girlfriend, and not her."

"And Rose made all this up right? Because she just loves stirring up more drama. She is the gossip queen of Hogwarts."

"She might be."

"Megan, I've known her since the day I was born."

"Well, don't take it out on me!"

She stomped angrily away, with her shirt half undone. I didn't bother telling her.

Like I said.

Two Solutions.

But, I wouldn't survive two days in the Muggle world, and I don't even have a sock drawer at Hogwarts.

Kaput. There go the two plans I actually made.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!<strong>

**~RJ**


	14. How COULD She Be So STUPID!

**A/N: To my two lovely anonymous reviewers:**

**Ape Face: Thank You! I'm glad you like it :)**

**Currently Dying Of Laughter: Yes, as a matter of fact, I did. That is probably my favorite line out of the whole thing. :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to Anie1129, who has been diligently reading and reviewing. Thank you!**

**And, I present to you, Le Chapitre Numero Quatorze! (I think I said that right...)**

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><p>November 20th, 2021<p>

I am going to murder him. And not even with _Avada Kedavra_. I am going to use a badly cut tin can and slit his throat gradually. No, even better, I am going to have a very pissed Mundungus Fletcher do it. Yes. No. No, I'm going to take a brick and...

You're probably wondering who the hell I am talking about. I'll tell you, dear book. I am talking about my idiotic, moronic, traitorous numpty of a brother. No, not Teddy! The other one! Gah!

So since Megan stormed out on me last week, I haven't spoken to her. Or Alice. Well, actually, I haven't spoken to Alice for a very very long time.

I've been sitting with the Scamander twins for the longest time at meals. They keep want to diagnose me with something or the other. If I hear one more time that I've got the beginnings of spattergroit, I swear, I will chuck whatever is in my hands at the time at their heads.

I _don't have freckles!_ Lily does, because Mum does, I don't! Dad does not have freckles, James doesn't have them either, ergo, I don't! It's honestly not that difficult to understand.

Anyways, I was talking to Sonia about Quidditch, and I suddenly realized Al wasn't there. She hadn't been there for breakfast either, or lunch, and I was really concerned.

"So the Wasps just have no chance of winning, I mean seriously, but maybe with that-"

"Sonia, where's Alice?"

"Er, I...I dunno."

"Yes you do." She's an awful liar.

"She's...er...sick, I think..."

Really convincing.

"Okay. Sorry, but I have to go." I got up, and went straight to the Common Room. I left my bag there and everything. I didn't even realize it until Lorcan brought it to me later.

I started to take the steps two at a time, and I mumbled the password to the Fat Lady, and then, I stopped.

Because I remembered what happened to James when he tried to sneak into Violet Finnegan's dorm last year.

So, I summoned my broom from the boys dorm. It whacked me in the face, but I didn't care. I was on a mission now.

I mounted it and rode up to the Fifth Years Dormitory. Inside, I could hear muffled crying. I knocked quietly on the door.

"Hoo is id?" It was Alice.

"Al."

"Nyeah?"

"No, It's Al. Albus."

"Go 'way."

"No."

"Dyes."

"Al, lemme in, please? Are you decent?"

"Dot enough for dyou, abbarendly!"

Huh?

"What?"

"Do't blay dub wi' be!"

"Al, I'm giving you one minute exactly. Then I'm coming in, whether or not you want me to."

"Go do 'ell"

Ouch. I counted to sixty and let myself in.

She was a mess. Tissues were everywhere, and she was in her pajamas. She had bed-head, and her eyes were red, and her lips, cracked.

She still looked bloody gorgeous.

"Alice, what happened?" I sat down gingerly beside her and awkwardly wrapped my arms around her small frame.

She started crying again. And then, she started mumbling, but I really couldn't understand anything, so I just said, "Shhhhh." again and again.

Finally she stopped and said, "Al, I'b really really sorry, bud I kissed Jabes."

WHAT? I let go of her and ran for the door. How could she be so stupid? How could he be so stupid?

I ran into the devil himself at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, kiddo, how do you do?"

I socked him in the jaw, and then again in the eye, and then in the stomach.

And then, like the brave Gryffindor I am, I ran for it. And here I am, hiding under my bed.

Yep, my life's so wonderful right now.

(Note the sarcasm).


	15. Awkwardness

**Thank You to blame the nargles, for the lovely review! You gave me such an ego boost! :)**

**Only two more chapters left! And I personally have nothing against gingers, I think red is a gorgeous color for hair.**

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><p>December 20th, 2021<p>

I'm sure today was the most awkward day of my entire life. And that's saying a lot, because this is including the time when James told me that...okay, never mind. I've embarrassed myself enough.

Anyhow, today Alice came over. This was the first time in history that we didn't share a compartment on the Express. Very sad.

Anyhow, so Megan just snogged the living daylights out of me, and I stepped off the train trying desperately (and failing) to make myself decent. So I stepped off the train, and hugged and kissed the billions of relatives, how was school, did you miss us, how are your marks, all that jazz.

And then Cat comes up with Lils and Uncle Neville, and then the redheaded mob attacks them too, etc., etc. Then, my darling sister Lily, the _traitor_ that she is, invites Uncle Neville's family over for dinner.

As if things aren't bad enough enough already, without that evil little ginger butting in.

So of course, Mum agrees, and insists, and they end up coming home with us.

Now, you might say, hasn't Uncle Neville been told about Alice's and my, ahem, _situation_?

And I will say, No, because ever since Victoire went to Hogwarts and made it very clear to the parents of the Weasley-Potter clan that nothing they did will affect her or any of her younger relatives choices, the parents have really stayed out of out lives. Headmaster knows Dad personally, so if something really serious goes on, they'll obviously be notified, but drama is not to reach their ears. Vic said. And anything she said, goes. It's a fact of life. It's part of the whole Head Girl deal. It says, somewhere on the bottom, in fine print.

Nobody has quite forgotten her outburst. I swear, the broomshed door has never quite been the same...

Anyway, so then dinner was, as already mentioned, a very awkward affair. The parents didn't notice anything, because this dinner, like most Weasley meals are separate: kids in the kitchen, or anywhere they can find place, and adults in the dining room. Except at the Burrow, because there, anyone sits anywhere their bum fits.

So yeah, and naturally because Merlin _really_ hates me, I was seated across from her, and the little traitor on my right, and the big traitor on my left (Haven't quite forgiven James. He knows I fancy her!)

And then, Evil Ginger flicks mashed potatoes at Alice using her spoon. When Alice looked up with her death glare at me, I obviously denied it. But this made her even madder (Is that a word? Well, it is know.) at me.

Then, when we were leaving, Alice said bye to Lily, and waved to James, but pretended I wasn't even there!

So I did what any sane person would do. I gave her a HUGE bear hug before she left.

Ha.


	16. The Best Day EVER!

**A/N: Okay, so I know I said in my last author's note that there were **_**two**_** chapters left, but then I realized that I couldn't do that, because it would break Al's emotional train of thought. It doesn't make much sense now, but it will. Hopefully.**

**So, this is the last diary entry of Albus Severus Potter. Thank you all so much for sticking with me, it's been a lot of fun! I'm writing another multi-chapter soon, not anything like this, but if you would like to read it, please put me on Author Alert. It's going to be a Humor/Family one, where the entire Potter-Weasley clan kids go for a Muggle-style vacation. It should be up very soon.**

**And to Ape Face: Thank you, cherie! I will certainly check it out. Thanks again for all the kind words! (And yeah, I speak several languages, and French is by far my favorite. In fact, my next fanfic, the Muggle vacation one, will be half in French, translations provided, of course.) Wow. That was a lot of commas.**

**Okay, here it is! The last chapter!**

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><p>January 8th, 2022<p>

MERLIN'S PANTS. This is the best day of my life! I swear, I'm going to carve today's date into my bedpost and remember it for all of eternity!

So today we came back to Hogwarts. And we were in the train. Rose was off in some prefects thing, and I was sitting with Megan in a compartment. Sonia and Al were in another one, right behind us.

Megan came up to me and sat in my lap (she weighs an effing ton!), nearly broke my legs, and immediately started sticking her tongue down my throat.

And she was wearing lipstick. Not lipgloss, I know the difference. They both have been smeared all over my face, I should think I'd know which one is harder to Scourgify.

It's lipstick, by the way.

Anyhow, today's shade of the day was this godawful tomato red (my mum always tells Lily not to wear red because gingers' hair clashes with it. And maroon. And magenta. Honestly, the bird has _orange_ hair! She looks like a carrot with a sunburn!) which left splotches all over my face. It looked like I had some sort of odd skin condition.

I pushed her off my lap and told her I was going to the loo, and ran out of the compartment.

I passed Al's compartment and she looked really miserable. I felt awful. I wanted to stop and talk to her, I was thinking of chucking Megan anyway, but as I raised my hand to open the door, Sonia gave me bug eyes and started shaking her head. When I mouthed "Why?", she pointed at Al and drew and imaginary line from her eye to her chin with her finger.

Oh. She would start crying.

Sonia got up and pulled the shade down so Alice wouldn't see me. Right before she pulled it, she gave me a sympathetic smile and mouthed "Sorry."

I turned, dejected, and headed for the loo.

And then, I heard Alice.

"Albus! Albus Severus Potter, don't you dare ignore me!"

I turned around. "Alice. How may I help you?"

She took a deep breath. "Al, look, these past couple of months have been tough, because we're both denying something very important and it doesn't help me when you ran off with that tart-"

"First of all, I never ran off. And _you_ snogged my brother, who is the womanizer of Hogwarts. Did you ever stop to think how that'd make me feel?"

"No. I'm sorry. That wasn't meant to-"

"Alice, could you-"

"Albus, shut up. I've fancied you ever since third year, and when I finally plucked up the courage to do something about it, you hurt me by sucking that ginger bimbo's face, and if you for one moment think..."

I needed her to shut up. So I leaned in and kissed her, hard, on the mouth.

She did shut up.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY BOYFRIEND?" Megan stood there, staring at us, eyes furious, and wand drawn.

I drew my own and stood in front of Alice, shielding her from whatever pathetic hex Megan was planning to hurl.

Megan was awful at D.A.D.A. and Charms, so it was two competant individuals against well, one not-so-competant individual.

Wow, Al. Great choice of words there. What an _astounding _vocabulary.

"What do you think you're doing to my boyfriend, Longbottom?" Megan asked, American accent more pronounced than ever.

"Megan, I'm not your boyfriend anymore. I don't want to put up with you anymore."

A few people had poked their nosy little heads out and were staring intently.

Nosy buggers.

"You..what?"

"You heard me. I'm done. Over. Fin."

"Fine. Allison, he's an awful kisser."

She turned, and I thought, _Wow, that was so easy. I should've done that a long time ago._

And then, she whirled around and hit with some really intense hex, because I blacked out.

And then, I woke up, here, in the Hospital Wing.

Alice was here the whole time, and apparently, after Megan hexed me, Alice hexed Megan, so she's here, her Evil Little Ginger Majesty is reposing in the adjacent bed.

Alice kissed me again, and said, "Should we make this official?"

And I said, "Yes."

So we did.

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><p><em> Fin.<em>

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><p><strong>AN: So? How was it? When I said I wanted to make it two chapters, I meant that I wanted everything after the Alice/Albus kiss in one, and everything before that in another. Then I remembered this is a diary, (sorry, **_**journal**_**,) and he actually had to write all this jazz at one point.**

**Till next time,**

**~RJ**


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